Katrina Sez: Boredom and Food, the Double Whammy
My friend Katrina decided to chip in from Texas:
I fully believe that it is important to support a friend’s endeavor, no matter how idiotic it may be. However, there are two aspects of this particular fete that will be difficult for the Barbarian to overcome: lack of food and boredom.
This is the man whose entire life revolves around food, and more specifically meat. In my years of knowing the Barbarian, we have never had a conversation that did not involve some aspect of food. It is the foundation of our relationship. In fact, my college experience began and ended with the Barbarian and his love of food.
The two of us met on the first day of classes our freshman year in a class entitled “Food Science.” While it did not have nearly as much to do with consumption as we had hoped, it marked the beginning of a relationship that would revolve around food.
Four years later, my college career ended sharing a cottage with six others on a week-long trip to Cape Cod. While everyone else was still wondering how far away the beach was, the Barbarian instead took it upon himself to fill the refrigerator with more meat than the six of us could consume. It was a week of grilling, beer, whiffle ball, and occasionally a video game on a rainy day, four activities that have become the quintessential day in the life of the Barbarian. This is precisely why I feel it is unlikely he will make it a whole week living off the land, even if it is in the Hamptons.
And while the Barbarian worships food, in my years of knowing him, the first and only time I have heard him even mention seafood was only three weeks ago. It was not concerning the skills needed to catch fish or even the types of marine life he may encounter on his adventure, rather it was to recommend the tasting menu at a new Sushi restaurant. Eating crab and snapper for 7 days is not his idea of a good time.
The lack of food is only one facet of the hardships encountered while living off the land, and will obviously be difficult for the Barbarian. However, for someone who is admittedly “distracted by pieces of tinfoil,” a week alone with his thoughts will also be the root of his demise. Can one of the most social people I know get through a week alone? Can he go an entire week without whiffle ball or Frisbee? Will his attempts at harpooning a squirrel be enough to overcome his boredom? Doubtful.
As someone who remembers the aftermath of the White Castle slider eating contest of 2006, I hope this endeavor ends without serious incident. If the Barbarian can find food and overcome his boredom, he stands a chance at completing the task, and I truly hope he does.
Mostly so he doesn’t feel the need to try again.