Tally-Ho
Well its now 8 am. I’m officially not allowed inside any buildings not made by my own hands. My wallet, keys, food, anything I would want or need are locked away in the house. I might be a bit panicked.
I checked the weather during my few moments of civilized time before 8 am and I’m seeing two very different story lines. The first (and I guess the better of the two) includes highs in the 80’s and low 90’s, and gets partly cloudy later on in the week leading into scattered thunderstorms. That’s the weather I had been seeing all week. The second now has rain early in the week, which gives me no time to set-up and get situated, or at least get my bearings. If that’s the case then I am not going to be a happy Barbarian, not at all.
Ok, only way to do this is list my short and long term goals and hope for the best. Likely this list will change as the week goes on, but it’ll help me organize myself.
Short term (daily) goals:
- Organize equipment
- Gather firewood
- Check for mussels
- Catch bait fish
- Fish
- Gather greens
- Scout out location as best as possible for alternate food sources.
Obviously I’ve put together some plan of attack in my head, and that entire strategy hinges on item #3, catching mussels. Without them, its back to the drawing board, and a serious setback. My chances for catching a fish change dramatically.
Long Term Goals
- Stay hydrated
- Plan for how to deal with rain
- Stay well rested
- Keep mind sharp and occupied
- Kill a squirrel with a harpoon, then clean and cook
- Catch a seagull, clean and cook
- Collect earthworms and dry them.
- Don’t get sick
- Make note of potential food sources
- Mentally record the tides
- Remember to film and take pictures
So far that’s all I got. If you have any other suggestions, feel free to lob them in. I sure could use them.
June 10th, 2008 at 8:16 am
You made my year if not life.
Most hilarious blog EVER.
Best of luck against the elements.
- Chipster
June 10th, 2008 at 9:01 am
WeatherChannel.com is just showing rain for Sunday and mid-70’s all week. Hopefully this is true! Good luck and be careful! Love you!
June 10th, 2008 at 9:04 am
WeatherChannel.com is showing mid-70’s and Thunderstorms on Sunday which isn’t so bad. Hopefully this will hold. Be careful, Barbarian! I love you!
June 10th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Squirrel? Seagull?
Bourdain would approve.
June 10th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Barbarian:
I don’t even know what to say. This is ridiculous, hilarious, and a bit exhibitionist for my taste. If there is one man who can spend a week outside and who’s appetite will allow him to eat anything that happens to be near by it is this Barbarian. Bonne chance, mon ami!
June 10th, 2008 at 9:29 am
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080610/ap_on_sc/indonesia_fishing_macaques_1
This is an article about monkeys that have learned how to fish. Perhaps if you catch up to them on the evolutionary scale you might be able to make it.
June 10th, 2008 at 9:38 am
You’ve done crazy things but this tops it. I’m already biting my nails. If I make it through this week, call me … SurvivorMom. Be safe and be smart. xoxo
June 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Okay, clearly I am part barbarian too. Couldn’t quite figure out the whole internet/posting deal. Sorry for what is ultimately the same comment twice.
June 10th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
First thing you have to do is set up that webcam, so we can watch you survive like a good barbarian
June 10th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Okay catching a seagull would be funny to watch - you should defintely make a hat out of it like the crazy professor did on BioDome.. ; )
June 10th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Whoooa… I feel bloated. I can’t possibly eat this whole mortadella sandwich by myself. Waaay too filling. It sure was good though, especially the out-of-the-oven, still-warm, thick-sliced artisan bread. Oh and the homemade dressing. Yumm… so delicious. But what to do with this other half? I guess I’ll wrap it up and stick it in the fridge, where it will sit and wait around until someone finds it.
Now what should I make for dinner? Perhaps rack of pork and braised belly with baby turnips and Adirondack blue potatoes…or maybe a nice risotto with parmesan cheese, wild mushrooms, and fine herbs…or how about prime dry aged strip steak with caramelized onions, haricot verts, fresh herbs, red wine sauce, and pommes dauphine…
Decisions, decisions.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Not to be rude but no more weather updates from Ms. Barbarian, very cute Ms. B., but no more. Also, the hours everyone has picked will be up today on facebook and an email will go out. My appologies for the delay
June 10th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
…and we’re off! Oh this nonsense is going to keep the rest of us quite safe from boredom all week. As for the Barbarian…well…good luck, kid.
June 10th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Well here we are. Day 1 - and a freakin scorcher.
It’s about 5:30 EST now, and the sun is going to begin to release its death grip upon humanity soon.
As I sit here, in a slightly chilly air conditioned office building, I have to laugh, out loud, to myself, as I picture my best friend of 17 years sitting in the sand staring at the water wondering where mussels come from.
It’s interesting, when you have known someone for long enough, you can almost feel when they are scared, or nervous, or worried/stressed, and the like - even when you aren’t there. I know damn well my Fancy friend is freaking out right now. I can feel it. He’s thinking a billion things at once. He isn’t sure whether he should fish longer, or make the fire bigger, take a tour down the road to see what he can see - literally - or take a quick nap in the hammock. In about an hour or so he is going to see the light dim slowly. Naturally, he will begin to think - what’s for dinner? It is at this point that our Barbarian will truly realize the actual, terminal, gravity of the situation. He is, “in it,” as they say, officially. There is no fridge, no sister made funfetti cones, no Iced Tea, no pre-plucked game bird cooked to perfection with tender meat falling off the bone. No. There is grass, sand, and salt water.
I write at this moment, not to point out the obvious crappiness of my dear friend’s situation, but to remind him of why he is doing this.
They all said you were nuts.
Relax. Take a deep breathe. Enjoy the fact that all you can hear is the ocean waves steadily beating the beach. There is no need to panic. The tides will change, as will the weather, and winds. Inevitably you will get very hungry. You have to control your mental state when this happens. You have to calm yourself.
Adapt, and overcome.
See you on the 21st.
-Dan-
June 10th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
your crazy! this is the greatest and most hilarious event ever